Dia 1

No se por donde empezar, solo se que necesito escribir todo esto por si algun dia vienes aca y me lees....

Cambiare todos los nombres de cada historia. 

Hace mas de una semana que dejamos de escribirnos, hace mas de una semana que ya no escucho tu voz, ni tu risa. Comence a correr, a sumergirme en el trabajo, que por cierto me ha ido muy bien, no se bien aun cuanto sera mi sueldo mensual, pero es muy probable que sea excelente. 

Me pican las manos por escribirte, pero no debo hacerlo porque aun no es tiempo. Pero te extraño, te extraño mucho. 

Me he dedicado a leer mucho, lei un libro super rapido sobre como aprender a amarme, me di cuenta de lo tonta que fui, de como arruine tu parcelita en algunos momentos, pero tambien mis flores hoy estan marchitas y algunas incluso fueron arrancadas. 

Desde pequeña me he sentido pequeña, nunca fui la mejor de la clase, ni tampoco fui la mas bonita, en algun momento fui la mas delgada pero era una delgadez de enfermedad, de esas que no son saludables. Recuerdo un dia que en una clase de deporte me cai y me pegue en la cabeza, me daba miedo hacer deporte, siempre pensaba que me desmayaría por la enfermedad que tenia, y ademas las niñas que hacian deporte siempre eran las mas lindas. Finalmente me eximieron de educación física, igual tenia que hacer trabajos escritos sobre los deportes que se practicaba en esa asignatura, me gustaban los de gimnasia rítmica pero jamas la pude practicar. 

Con el tiempo todo siguió igual y las mas bonitas eran las que hacían deporte, las que participaban en basquetbol o las que eran del grupo de cheerleaders, yo era gordita tenia el pelo largo y era media nerd. No aplicaba para que me seleccionaran en ningún deporte. 

Mi tiempo en el colegio no fue entretenido, lo pase mal, mis papás no se estaban llevando bien, y tenian un negocio que jamas me gusto. Yo quería estudiar medicina, siempre quise ayudar gente y trabajar en un hospital. 

(Ahora mismo siento una molestia en mi garganta, quizás es pena....)

Con el tiempo me hice fuerte, decidi que no me gustaría nadie, ningun hombre porque el chico que me gustaba del colegio me rechazo cuando le envie una carta declarandome, me dijo que era fea y gorda.... quizás tenia razón.... años despues lo vi cuando yo era cajera de un supermercado, justo en mi epoca en que ya no era gorda, tenia varios kilos menos en mi cuerpo....

No quiero vivir del pasado, pero para poder sanarlo y olvidar todo debo escribirlo, basicamente debo vomitarlo.....

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I don't know where to start. I only know that I need to write all of this down, in case one day you come here and read it....

I’ll change all the names in each story.

It’s been more than a week since we stopped talking. More than a week since I last heard your voice or your laugh. I started running, immersing myself in work, which, by the way, has been going really well. I still don’t know exactly how much my monthly salary will be, but there’s a very good chance it will be excellent.

My hands itch to write to you, but I shouldn’t, because it’s still not the right time. But I miss you. I miss you so much.

I’ve been reading a lot. I read a book really quickly about learning how to love myself, and I realized how foolish I was, how I ruined your little patch of land at certain moments. But my flowers are wilted today too, and some of them were even pulled out by the roots.

Ever since I was little, I’ve felt small. I was never the best in class, nor was I ever the prettiest. At some point, I was the thinnest, but it was the kind of thinness that came from being sick, the kind that isn’t healthy.

I remember one day during a physical education class, I fell and hit my head. I was afraid of doing sports. I always thought I might faint because of the illness I had. And besides, the girls who did sports were always the prettiest.

Eventually, I was excused from physical education. I still had to do written assignments about the sports we practiced in that class. I liked rhythmic gymnastics, but I was never able to practice it.

As time went by, things stayed the same. The prettiest girls were always the ones who played sports, the ones who participated in basketball or were part of the cheerleading group. I was chubby, had long hair, and was kind of a nerd. I was never the kind of girl they would choose for any sport.

My time at school wasn’t fun. I had a really hard time. My parents weren’t getting along, and they had a business that I never liked.

I wanted to study medicine. I had always wanted to help people and work in a hospital.

(Right now, I feel a lump in my throat. Maybe it’s sadness....)

With time, I became stronger. I decided I wouldn’t like anyone, no man, because the boy I liked at school rejected me when I sent him a letter confessing my feelings. He told me I was ugly and fat.... Maybe he was right....

Years later, I saw him when I was working as a cashier at a supermarket, right around the time when I was no longer fat, when I had already lost several kilos.

I don’t want to live in the past. But in order to heal it and forget it all, I have to write it down. Basically, I have to throw it all up....